Memories of the Past, A Desire For That Is Lost
by The Celestial Wanderer
Summary: Living in the wasteland of a future where darkness reigns, one survivor sacrifices everything to change history.
1. Future Wasteland

Disclaimer: I do not own this series at all, the only thing I do own is the plot and the characters of my own creation..

Memories of the Past: A Desire for all that is Lost

A Harry Potter Simi Dark Fanfic

Chapter 1: Future Wasteland

As the full moon slowly slid behind a bank of clouds, a lone figure quickly but cautious slid from the shadows and quickly moved down the deserted road hugging the abandoned buildings as they went. For a brief moment the moon peeked out from between the clouds and we learn that the lone figure is a male. On closer inspection we notice evidence of a rough life due to his tattered and torn cloak, and from the scars on his bare hands. Freezing as his ears pick up a faint sound ahead, he slowly fades into the shadows and silently waits. His wait is not long as the once faint sound grows in intensity until a loud crash fills the air, then silence slowly refills the air. After waiting a short while longer, the stranger cautious peers around the corner when he hears nothing else. Slightly up the road he notices that a wall from one of the ruined buildings has collapsed and is now covering the road with bits of debris. Taking the moments pause, the man pulls out a flask of some kind, slightly pushes his hood back and takes a long drink of the contents. Upon this action we learn the identity of the stranger, a young man who was once know as a pure blood called Blaze Zambini. But after the loss at the battle of the ministry that allowed the dark one to take power, the public executions of all who oppose him and the muggle and half blood purges of 2002 and 2005. There were no longer titles like pureblood, halfblood, muggle or wizard, he like the few remaining of his kind are simply know as survivors. As the night progressed Blaze continued to his target, it was shortly before daybreak when he finally reached the only place, temporary or not, he now called home.

After passing through the numerous security checks that proved he was really who he looked like, he entered what looked like the ruins of a gymnasium. As he approached the center of the room he was handed a steaming mug of coffee and a food ration bar, both were deeply appreciated after his long trip. This was only one of the few pleasures that was left in his life, he knew that no matter what time of day or night it was when he came home. That someone would have a meal, no matter how simple, waiting for him when he arrived. If one would look around they would find the tattered remains of what was once a recreation hall for the military, now simply a headquarters and home for one of the few surviving groups of resistance for the light. Despite a bit of damage here and there, the area where the building sat was in good condition. Connected to the recreation hall was a building that at one time was used for storage and where they found their treasure trove. The building was full of case after case of field rations, or more commonly known as M.R.E 's or Meal, Ready-to-Eat, emergency survival rations of water, and Emergency Food Bars. More then enough to last the small group of survivors months, if not years if they weren't killed first.

As he approached the table that was setup in the middle of the room, he over heard a brief conversation from the resident lovers in denial. "Come on Megan how about 10 minutes?" he spoke hopefully, Megan turned to him. "How about I place my knee somewhere to get your mind on task hmm? She spoke at him with a evil smile and a look that promised pain. The reaction was instant Andrew gulped and placed his hands over his sensitive area, and spoke "let get to work then!" "That what I thought." she stated turning her attention back to the map on the table in front of her. Upon noticing that the person he was to notify upon his return, was standing in the doorway of the storage/living quarters. Blaze by passed the table and headed toward the other side of the room, where Neville stood waiting silently. "They have been at that all night and Andrew wanted a few minutes rest and you know how Megan is when she gets a project." He spoke answering Blaze's unasked question about what the two had been talking about moments before. Allowing a brief phantom of a smile appear on his face do to the situation, Blaze's face went completely somber when he was asked about the results of his mission. Neville sadly sighed after he was given a complete report of the status of the French branch of the resistance, and softly spoke "I'll inform William, you go get some rest while you can after your long journey."

Meanwhile in another part of the living area a husband and wife were enjoying some much needed time alone. What started out as innocent kissing, slowly turned carnal as clothing was quickly shed and dropped to the floor. Due to her husbands enjoyment of turning his always in control wife into a female of unrestrained desire, their foreplay had evolved into a battle of wills over the years. Gently picking her up and caring her over to their bed, William carefully placed his now deeply flushed wife on to the bed. After several deep passionate kisses he resumed his journey started with the side of her gorgeous neck, slowly kissing her throat, and her shoulders. With the exception of her slightly trembling, it looked like she was holding herself in perfect control but one look into her sapphire eyes told another story. He knew she was near her limit due the look of deep unrestrained need that was in her eyes. Daphne bit her lip to keep from whimpering as the heat from every single one of his kisses burned its way through her body. William looked upon his beautiful wife of four years and grinned as he noticed she was biting her lip in a attempt to remain in control. He had come to deeply enjoy their little competition over the years, but what he enjoyed the most was how much pleasure he brought his wife doing this. She was his friend, his lover, his most trusted confidant, and his soul mate. He made it a point to bring as much happiness, joy and pleasure into his wives life as he possibly could. He knew that she still carried mental scars from what had happened all those years ago, and he was deeply proud of how much she had grown and healed, since the day that he had saved her from that horrible fate her father sent her into.

Not taking his eyes off his wives, he slowly started to kiss up her leg starting with her ankle. By the time he had reached her knees her trembling had gotten worse, as his hands came to rest upon her upper thighs, he reached out with his thumbs and gently brushed her soft inner thigh. A wide mischievous grin appeared on his face when his actions caused his dear wife to jump and bite her lip even harder. It was only after he placed a soft kiss on the pulse point of her inner thigh, did she release a quite moan. It was then that a knock at the door was heard, hoping that whoever it was would take the hint and leave, he placed another kiss on to her silken skin. Another knock came from the door, and the look of deep need and desire that was in Daphne's eyes was now sharing that of fury. Fury at whom ever was interrupting them during their time alone. As a third knock was heard she spoke sweetly, ice dripping from every word. "Yes, what is it?" Now Neville wasn't stupid, he realized he must have interrupted something important for her to sound as cold as she was. "Please excuse the intrusion Daphne, but I have a important message for your husband," the voice from the door stated. "It better BE important, for if I find out that someone else could have taken care of this matter. I swear to you by the four founders that I will track you down and show you the true meaning of pain by turning you into a eunuch." She replied venomously in a voice that promised pain and much suffering to him, " William asked me to inform him when blaze returned with an update about our French branch and he returned moments ago." Neville swallowed nervously now realizing what he must have just interrupted due to how vicious she had just sounded. Turning she noticed that her husband had an expression that conveyed that he was deeply sorry for what happened and that he promised that he would make it up to her. Letting out a frustrated sigh Daphne spoke "Go ahead, I have waited this long a few more minutes won't hurt." After kissing his understanding but deeply frustrated wife and putting on a pair of shorts, He walked across the room opening and closing the door after him. Out in the hall Neville started to deeply apologize for interrupting the both of them. "Don't worry about it, to be honest we were wondering when we were gonna be interrupted. But I would be careful around Daphne for the next couple of days" he stated in amusement at the look of terror the crossed Neville face.

Up to this point the war had not been going good for them, and Daphne was wondering what bad news this message brought. It wasn't until her husband returned that she started to worry his face had a look of shock and horror on it. As he sat back down on the bed and started to dress, she then knew that it was bad news and that he was going to inform the commander. "Who did we lose this time?" she asked in a soft voice expecting the worse, she had known a few of the people who joined the French light resistance. "They are all gone" he spoke slightly in shock, "Every single one of them is gone including the village, all that is left is a crater." All she could do was gasp in shock, what did they use to do that much damage is what went through Daphne's mind at the moment. After her husband had gotten dressed and left to inform the commander, the door quietly opened and closed back as a young women entered the room crossing over to where Daphne sat. Known to most in the group as the healer and adviser to William Susan bones was like a sister to Daphne. "Let me guess, they interrupted you two again didn't they?" Susan spoke softly pushing her long auburn braid over her shoulder completely understanding Daphne's frustration. "How you guess?" Daphne asked sarcastically her face a mixture of deep frustration and annoyance. "You mean other then Neville looking like he was about to wet himself? Susan replied with a knowing smirk on her face. "Is it too much to ask that we have just one moment alone without getting interrupted? Just one single solitary moment, that's all I ask." Daphne asked Susan her expression torn between screaming out in frustration, looking like she wanted to strangle Neville for interrupting them, and shock from the news about the French branch. Considering how long she had known both Daphne and her husband, Susan could tell automatically when something was wrong. "What names are we adding this time?" she asked quietly, she like most of the group knew that Blaze had returned and what he was sent to do. "All of them, even the village they were guarding is gone" Daphne spoke sadly, at this Susan's eyes widened in deep shock. "All of them? How is that possible?" She asked deeply in shock. Shaking her head Daphne replied "I don't know, but William was told that a crater is all that remains of where the village once sat. No survivors or anything."

As she sat thinking about everything that had happened up to this point, Her Aunt's murder by death eaters, the fall of the ministry, the battle of Hogworts, and the death of her sister/friend Luna. For the first time since the war started Susan came to a conclusion, which she voiced to her other sister/friend Daphne. "We're not going to win this are we Daphne?" she quietly spoke, looking down. Looking over at her sister, Daphne sighed then spoke "I don't Susan, I truly do not know." William slowly walked toward the commander's quarters, of all his duties this was one that he had come to hate the most. Word of what happened to the French branch had spread like fire through the small group of fighters, and those who he met in the hall had given him their condolences. It wasn't a secret that he once served under the French commander during the battle of Beauxbatons, and that the commander became like a little sister to him. Stopping in front of the commanders door, he reached out to knock when a voice was heard from inside. "Who did we lose this time William? the voice asked sighing, William replied "I 'am sorry commander, but Blaze reports that the French Branch has been from removed from the war permanently. I was told that all that was left of the village was a rather large crater in the ground." In the silence that followed, William quietly spoke "Commander,...Harry, I know that this probably wouldn't be much comfort, but you have the unit's Condolence's and Daphne's and my deepest sympathy during your time of loss, I know how much Gabrielle meant to you and I don't know if it would be much help. But she once told me that if she would have to leave this life the only way she would, would be by using one hand to throw fireballs and the other by casting as many killing curses as she could taking as many death eaters with her as possible."

Moments later the door opened and a young man stepped out, young if you only look at his physical appearance, but take once glance into his emerald green eyes and you would see that he was decades older then what he should be. Looking at his second in command, the young man who was once known as the boy who lived, Harry Potter, spoke in a voice long used to pain and heartbreak. "Thank you William", He then started toward the gymnasium and the board where the list of the fallen sat. Neville glanced up when the gymnasium fell silent and noticed that Harry had entered and was standing in front of the list of the fallen. After adding two entries to the list he turned and headed back to toward his quarters, as he pasted William he was heard muttering "At least your back with your family Angel." It was that sentence alone that made him, think about something he hadn't since before the war started. "It was a long shot but maybe just maybe it might work." he though as he turned to return to his quarters and his understanding wife.

Next Chapter: A Faint Light in a Dark Land

Please R&R Flames will be laughed at and then ignored...


	2. A Faint Light in a Dark Land

Disclaimer: I do not own this series or any places name at all, the only thing

I do own is the plot and the characters of my own creation..

Memories of the Past: A Desire for all that is Lost

A Harry Potter Simi Dark Fanfic

Chapter 2: A Faint Light in a Dark Land

Her conversation with Daphne finished moments before, Susan stood to leave as the door opened,so that her two friends could have more time together. When a quiet voice spoke "Susan would you mind staying for a bit, there is something I would like to talk to the both of you about." Both of the young women exchanged a surprised glance, knowing that this had to important and remembering the last time he had spoken like this some major was about to happen. " I need your opinion as both an adviser and as my friend here Susan." William spoke looking over at her. Now this got their attention, William hadn't openly asked for her to act as his adviser since they lost Luna and Alana. They both knew how much loosing them had hurt him and that the council had been broken with their deaths. "When the commander was leaving after he added the names to the board, he said something to himself that triggered a memory that I had hoped that I had forgotten. What he said isn't important but the memory is why I asked you to stay Susan, It involves what I did before the war started. " William spoke as he sat down wearily looking years older then when he left moments ago. To say that his friend and his wife were surprised was a huge understatement, they knew that he never talked about before but not why. Daphne herself didn't care if her husband had a secret or anything of that nature in his past, all she care about was him. He had always been there for her when she needed him. She remembered how he always stood by her, comforted her in her time of need, and excepted her even after she was disgraced to a point that she felt no male would ever want anything to do with her again. He stood by her in the darkest time of her life and was there for her, even if she didn't realize or appreciate it at first. And she wasn't going to turn her back on him when he obviously needs her now more then anything. Susan knew that whatever was in her friend's past wasn't bad or anything like that. But she did know that whatever it was held a huge burden of guilt on him, even more now then it ever did. "While I was walking back here several thoughts were passing through my mind, most were unimportant and pointless. I remember Luna telling Alana about the different points of view during a lull in a meeting one night. She had said that there were several points of view, Yours, Theirs and Hers. Hers of course being the strange and slightly crazy one. It was then that I knew that if Luna herself was still here what she would have told me, that I should at least ask for an opinion on an idea no matter how insane or completely bizarre it was before I dismissed it.

A long time ago before the war I worked for the American version of the unspeakables. I was placed in a highly classified science community, or what they called a think tank in the states. My only job was to keep them from playing with items and projects that were felt to be too dangerous for them to be messing around with at all. I deeply enjoyed my job both as an agent and as a scientist for their think tank, I helped create all sorts of items that would have benefited all of humanity, wizard and nonmagical both. But due to greed and governmental interference most of the projects never got past the prototype and were never seen outside our little group. The last project I worked on had such promise, but due to some general's over inflated ego and his trigger-happy mentally. It was decided by the higher-ups or as some of us called them the kiss ups, that our project that was designed to be a new method of teaching history was to be turned into and used as a weapon. Several of us were against the idea of creating a weapon; all of the people there were there to build stuff to help humanity not destroy it. In the end they were given the option build it or be fired, and considering that several of them had families to take care of they didn't have much choice. They started to build the weaponized version and my job ceased to be enjoyable and started to be what I was being paid for by the American Ministry of Magic. I used tiny unnoticeable bits of magic to keep them from finishing their weapon, days and weeks went by with no further progress until one day I felt that something horrible was about to happen. This was the same feeling that had kept me alive as long as it had, so at the end of the day I sealed the weapon with my magic so that it wouldn't work unless I canceled the seal. I then left like normal with everyone else and gathered up all my stuff and vanished, the next day I didn't show up for work. Both Governments sent someone out to check up on me, due to the type of work I did and my perfect work record and neither found anything left at my residence. It didn't matter what happened next for a short time later the war broke out and due to the same trigger-happy general the whole continent was reduced to an uninhabitable wasteland."

Susan could tell that after William had told about his past that some of the guilt that he had carried was lifted. She exchanged a glance with Daphne and as one they put their arms around their friend/husband and held him. For the first time since the war started William who always was the strong one, allowed himself a moment of weakness and he cried. He let out all of his grief over losing his friends, over the loss of Luna and Alana and over Gabrielle and the lives lost from the French branch. The mask that he normally wore was nowhere in sight and for the moment Susan and Daphne held the William that they knew and loved before the deaths of Luna and Alana. Awhile later after he had quieted down and was just enjoying being held by the two most important women in his life, he softly spoke "you can ask your question Susan." Considering what her question was about she was a bit hesitant. "By your silence I take it your question was about the device they ruined by turning it into a weapon, am I right?" William asked looking up at her and finding that both of his girls had being crying as well. Leaning over his gave his wife a short kiss and then deeply shocked Susan by giving her a short kiss on her lips as well. "Thank you" was all he said words couldn't convey the emotions he was feeling but the peaceful expression on his face and deep gratitude shown in his eyes was enough to explain everything. "As for your question instead of reading about history, how would you feel if you could watch it being made unobserved?" he stated watched both of them to see whom it would dawn on first what the device was. By the surprised and slightly shocked expression on his wives face, he knew that Daphne had realized what it was. "You mean the American M.O.M allowed them to build a time travel device?" she asked deeply shocked over this outrage. Susan who was being silent due to her shock of being kissed by her close friend was trying to come to terms with herself. For awhile now she had been slightly smitten with her sister's/friend's husband since the time he saved her, she knew it was wrong and she was trying to get over it. But the kiss he just gave her didn't help matters any at all, at the same time her mind was processing the chance they had of winning the war if they could get their hands on that device and alter it a bit. After awhile still slightly blushing Susan looked up and found both of them watching her, and noticed that William had a small knowing smile on his face. It was the first smile of any type she had seen from him in a very long time and told him what she knew he had been waiting for. "Would it be possible to alter the device to not only allow someone to go back, but for him or her to change history?" she asked answering the unspoken question she knew he had. William and Daphne had a close relationship, so close that they knew what the other was thinking so when he glanced at her she just nodded. William walked over to were Susan was standing, and put his arms around her and then deeply shocked her by given her an another kiss longer this time. After he was finished crimson-faced Susan just looked at Daphne in shock, she knew that Daphne wouldn't share so why was she allowing him to do this.

"I knew you would come up with something if properly motivated " William spoke with one arm around the still deeply crimson Susan. "I know what you're thinking Susan and your right I normally wouldn't share with anybody. But I believe I can speak for the both of us when I say that the people in this room are the most important to me in this life. You mean a lot to me you're my best friend, a sister that I never had, and I love you for that. There is very little that we can keep from each other, I know about your feelings for William and how you have tried to get over them. Considering how we don't know if we will be alive the next day or not and especially after we lost Luna and Alana, I have talked it over with my husband and we came to one conclusion. Susan you're my sister and I deeply love you like one, but there is one thing you don't seem to realize about very close sisters. And that is that Sisters share and I would be honored if you would confide in him and whatever happiness you can gain in one another " Daphne stated. Words could not describe what Susan was feeling at that moment; first she was embarrassed by her secret feelings about William being brought to light. Then by how much Daphne cared for her she knew she loved her like a sister but didn't realize how much. And now being told that she could act on her feelings toward William because "sisters shared" as Daphne put it. It took all her willpower to shyly look up at William who was still holding her, and what she found made her weak. His eyes were reflecting a look of deep love, the same look she had seen him give his wife on numerous occasions. But it was the other emotion she could see that made her melt a look of untamed lust and desire. When her mind-started working again it was then that she fully understood why Daphne was violent when she and William had been bothered in the past while they were enjoying some alone time.

As she watched her sister's reactions toward William she knew that this would be for the best for all three of them. And that she would be lying to herself if she didn't begrudgingly admit that a small part of her wanted to shove Susan away while snarling "MINE". But it was then that Susan let out a small squeak as William deliberately slid his arm down her back slowly to rest around her waist. It was at that moment that Daphne decided that even if she was a tad bit possessive about William, the contented look on Susan's reddened face was worth it. There had been enough sadness, grief, and loss already due to the war not to allow someone as close to her as Susan to have at least some happy memories during this nightmare of a war. It was until a few hours later that anything was said, "As much as I hate to admit it, someone should tell the commander about the idea even if there isn't a chance of it working." Susan stated with displeasure about the idea of having to move from her spot comfortably on the right side of William. "I know but still it has to be done even if we like it or not, the commander needs to be told" Daphne spoke from her position cuddled up to her husband on the left. "Why don't we wait until later to bother the commander with this? He has already been through enough today without dropping this into his lap." came a comment from their warm and comfortable pillow. To say this shocked them both was an understatement of epic proportions and it showed on their faces. Sighing sadly William explained, "I would be lying if I said that was the full reason why I didn't want to tell the commander. To be honest its because I don't want to lose what I have here and now if it does work. I know we're living in a perpetual nightmare, that we all have lost loved ones, and it seems we have no chance of winning this war. But for this one simple moment I want to be selfish and be concerned about only you and myself ladies. I want to enjoy basking in the beauty of the two most attractive and sexiest women I know, to enjoy watching the pleasure dance in your eyes from a simple kiss or a hug. To see a state of pure contentment and bliss on your flushed face and in your glazed eyes as I glance over your perfect body after one of our few and far between uninterrupted moments alone. If this means I am being selfishly cruel to be this way so be it.

I didn't want to be apart of this war, nor did I believe in all that pure blooded nonsense that He Who Needs A Tan or his minions were spouting. Especially after it was found out that he wasn't a pure blood himself, delusions of grandeur much? But sadly I found out like many others that there was only one side to belong to in He Who Needs The Hair Club For Men Eye's. Given how much I love staying alive, I put all my training and skills to the test and went underground in what was left of the Wizarding world and that is how I met the resistance. But as much as I love both of you, I wouldn't hesitate to sacrifice myself if it meant I could prevent all this from happening. The idea that you both would live in peace without losing a loved one or being tossed into your darkest nightmare and having to exist in what could be jokingly called life in this endless war. It would be worth it to be alone for the rest of my life or die in the past if it meant I could prevent this and you both would live the rest of your lives without knowing this nightmare. I refuse to lose either one of you, but if I had the choice between erasing the last six years and then dying alone. Or having to lose one of you, I would chose the first and die knowing that you both would be safe." Both Susan and Daphne just looked at him in shock then threw themselves into his arms sobbing deeply touched by what he just said. As the hour grew late William reflected on the last few hours and the two sleeping angels in his arms, as long as he lived he would never forget the night that he admitted his deepest fear to the loves of his life and their response to him. He now knew what he had to do even if it meant losing everyone he cared about, he would talk to the commander in the morning. William yawned due to the mental and emotional exhaustion from his own confession earlier; he leaned over and kissed both of his angels goodnight before falling asleep himself. As he closed his eyes he missed the small contented smiles forming on their faces.

Next Chapter: A Slim Chance of Survival

Please R&R Flames will be laughed at and then ignored...


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